Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Big Ass

Bill Paxton's in a show about a guy with three wives. His character, 'Bill', has three wives whom, since this is HBO, he periodically has marital relations with. Here's some math, that's one 'Bill' and six boobs; I have see a disproportionately large amount of Bill Paxton's ass. Bill's ass has made seven or so appearances, and I've seen half a boob. Not that Bill's ass doesn't do a fine acting job, but fair is fair let's throw the male viewer ship something.

Bill's ass is practically the star of the show. I think it's in the credit's under a pseudonym. In the season finale Bill's ass gets the spotlight while Bill is in the shower bouncing around and yelling at his second wife. That's right, Bill's ass has a monologue.

How is Bill Paxton the only one who didn't have a clause against nudity in his contract? He's the biggest star on the show. Did Bill just really want to show off his ass. Was his agent like, "Bill will do the show, but only if you give his ass an appearance in half the shows, a monologue and its own credit under the name Jerry Dawsy."

As you can tell, I've thought about this more then I should have.

The other night I was watching something that had nothing to do with Bill Paxton or his Hollywood ass, and it's own sex scene came on. Much to my chagrin, the first thing I thought of was Bill Paxton's ass. And, then I just couldn't get it out of my head. I'm like a little kid now, I hide my head when the sex scenes come on, so I don't get the image stuck in my head again.

Thanks Bill, thanks a lot.


Adam Entertainment said...

I heard Bill Paxton's ass sank the Titanic. It's in the deleted scenes of that movie!

Jen Smith said...

I'm pretty sure Bill Paxton's ass committed murder too. Or at least prompted several. Inhaling one's own farts could cause the altered mental state of his character in Frailty.