Thursday, May 8, 2008

Black on Pink

The other day I noticed the girl who was wearing a sort of lacy see through black top and then an obnoxiously pink bra.

What does that mean? I'm goth but it's laundry day?

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Warning: Explicit Content

My brother told me he was thinking of getting a dick tattoo.

I said, "Ok, but don't you think the novelty of having a picture of a penis on your back going to wear out pretty quick."

He didn't think it was that funny, told me (and I could not make this up) that he wanted something that would be surprising before a girl "blew" him.

I suggested the tattoo should say, "If you can read this you already have herpes."

Fairyly Unimpressed

The next time I see a falling star I'm going to wish for some magic fairies.

The last time I just wished for regular fairies and those little guys are useless. They just sit on my coach eating Cheeto's.

I try to be supportive, but it's hard. "Look Fizzlepuff, I am no stranger to the trials and tribulations of being a non-magical creature, but would you please stop peeing in the shower."