I don't drink coffee, which is a bit awkward around the other mathematicians. It's like being the only sober guy at a frat party. There's even a famous saying about this, "A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems." If that's true, I'm like a hybrid that runs on orange juice and vodka.
Sometimes, I walk around with a little coffee mug filled with soda. This is passable but, fails under close inspection.
"Gee Dave, why is your coffee bubbling like that?"
"It's just really fucking hot."